What are you looking for today?

When I starting blogging in November 2004, one of the first tools I added to my blog was a hit counter. And no, this isn't leading to a bad joke about how many people have hit me for my posts, or a worse one about females hitting on me. Which, if my recent life is evidence, really is a joke.

Anyways, this hit counter thingy has proved to be one of the wisest decisions in my brief online life, and has helped me answer some very fundamental questions:

How many people are actually reading my crap?
Nearly 31000 to date!

Where are all these wierdos coming from?
60 countries worldwide, from Brunei to Guam; if you prefer it alphabetically, Australia to Venezuela.

How do they get here?
About 30% through referrals from friends' blogs, and a further 40% through online searches

What are the poor Googlers (86%) or Yahooers (10%) looking for?
That, dear reader, is the subject of this post.

A casual perusal of the search strings unsuspecting victims have used to arrive at my blog reveals that my blog is a veritable hotspot when it comes to certain topics. These search strings / keywords can broadly be classified as below

1. Things to do with IIM. And not just Ahmedabad.
2. Rain and, more importantly, Zeenat Aman (note to self: buy a bowl to catch drool)
3. All things Keralite (OK, I'm exaggerating a little... but it's true!)
4. The Bangash brothers. And their love lifes.
5. Off-beat things that I have mentioned once in a while
6. Weird things I have NEVER mentioned (the most varied and interesting category!)

I know that's a rather large set of classifications, but what the heck... I've got time on my hands and if you're actually reading this blog, you obviously do as well. So let's take a look at them in just a little more detail... and, as a disclaimer, every search string I've mentioned below really, truly has been used to get to my blog!

1. Things to do with IIM. And not just Ahmedabad.

This makes sense, given the fact that a very large number of my posts (about 25% of them) are directly about the IIMs, or mention them in some way.

Some stumble onto this blog looking for advice ("decide iim kozhikode indore 2005", "why join iim kozhikode?", "which iim to join lucknow kozhikode interview"), some looking for information ("IIM Ahmedabad mess food", "life in IIM Ahmedabad dorm", "nice wildlife park near Ahmedabad") and some just have their own peculiar worries ("IIM Lucknow failure rate", "how to survive at IIM ahmedabad calcutta bangalore")

Most of these have landed on one of the following posts
- My fascinating experiences at the IIM interviews: I look at James Bond's boss Part 1 and Part 2
- My commentary on the mess at IIMA: Week 2 - whoooosh!
- My initial impressions, and the flora and fauna at IIMA: July 2005

2. Rain. And Zeenat Aman.

Now this is one thing I didn't expect at all. I have only written about Zeenat Aman in one post - this one - in the context of the rain, but any pervert or connoisseur (needless to say, I fall in the latter category) seems to drill straight to this.

Some of the subtle search strings used have been one variation or the other of "satyam sivam sundaram zeenat clips". But it's the one's that aren't quite as subtle that make for the most interesting reading such as the relatively acceptable "zeenat aman hot", the anatomically correct "satyam zeenat bosom" and the rather more passionate "satyam sivam zeenat aman wet dream". Here's hoping the generous mention of Zeenat Aman in this paragraph (6 times!) draws these Zeenatphiles evermore!

Zeenat Aman (number 7) apart, there are also a fair number of those who appear to share my love of rain (with search strings like "soft rain light drops" or "Zeenat in rain wet dance". Another massive draw is the title of the blog
Dum dum diga diga
Mausam bheega bheegawhich has brought loads of those searching for the lyrics to my blog. There is the occasional variation though, such as "wet smell of earth after rain Raj Kapoor" and "dum dum diga diga little girl kerala". Which brings us very smoothly (pat on back) to Classification #3.

3. All things Keralite

An astonishingly large number of people on the internet are running searches on strings that begin with the word 'mallu'. The search strings themselves range from the boring and cliched "mallu girls" to the mildly interesting "mallu beach party" and "gods own country parathas" to the confusing yet fascinatingly peotic "mallu pallu" What makes the whole thing even wierder is that I have barely mentioned anything mallu at all, much less about mallu pallus. All my blathering about anything remotely Keralite has been restricted to two posts
- An account of a fun trip to NIT Calicut: Omanakutty Chaikadapatti
- A very brief mention of a Malayalee interviewer from IIM Kozhikode: I look at James Bond's boss Part 1

4. The Bangash brothers

I have it on good authority that Amaan and Ayaan Ali Bangash are not single. I know it, you know it (now that I've told you), but there are loads of people out in Cyberspace who apparently do not know it. Which is why they end up at my post Sarod and Saarang begin with 'S' with hopeful pleas such as "Are the Bangash sarod brothers single?" and "ayaan ali bangash looking for girlfriend" Those who aren't necessary looking for a relationship have relatively staid search strings ("amaan ali bangash interview 2005", "bangash sarod iitm"), but there is a certain class of discerning blog visitors who are looking for the little extra something, as evidenced by those Googling "ayaan ali bangash banging girlfriend" or "bangash sarod player hot smooch". Oh well, it takes all types...

5. Off-beat things that I have mentioned once in a while

Apart from routine requests for "ranting swede" and "panchangam", some of the more interesting search strings that have led, quite understandably perhaps, to my blog are
- "iitians and girlfriends": Not something I can claim to be an expert on... but this is where it led to
- "sucked in paunch" : something I have a long history of experience with, and which made its blog debut here. Even as the days go by, I'm fighting a losing battle with my paunch, which is now firmly entrenched on a growth trajectory outwards and downwards. Sigh.
- "badly need to pee": Ah, a kindred soul! This leads unerringly to one of my more recent posts here. Nowadays, of course, I lose more fluids through incessant perspiration than either forced or natural excretion.
- "tuby heroine": I'm assuming this was meant to be tubby heroine... again, a term I've mentioned only once in 46 posts, here, in the context of Tamil film heroines. Come of think of it, tuby may not be too far off the mark, either... hmmm...
- "mosquito killing finland": Aah... this one's a personal favourite, only because it brings back pleasant memories of my early days in the blogosphere. I had discussed this fascinating contact sport in this post in November 2004.

6. Weird things I have NEVER mentioned

OK, now this beats comprehension. I have NO idea why the following search strings led to my blog... I've tried tracking them through Google but to no avail... try them yourselves if you have the time (which you do) and the inclination (which you probably don't), and do let me know if you can figure them out!
- "college guy jerking off"
- "maurice green weight statistics"
- "gay comic lord of the springs"
- "dream big and bedding and stars and blue"
- "joshi maths coaching lucknow"
- "winking giraffe video clip": This takes the cake for most wierd and arbit search string to hit me ever. Ever.

So there you have it, dear reader. I've spouted all the data and statistics I have, much like a consultant report. Not that it's really going to do either of us any good. Except, of course, for the fact that I might just get more Zeenat Aman hits from now on!