Sunday, June 05, 2005

Watch out...

The funniest letter my family has received in seven years. Found it when I was clearing my table, though I have no idea what it was doing there in the first place.

I live in T.Nagar, a locality of Chennai, India, that is a hotbed of politics and crime. And not just coz I live here.

Like all insecure apartment complex folk, we've hired a coupla watchmen from an agency. It never fails to amaze me that all watchmen I have come across are apparently on the wrong side of 60 and appear to suffer from creaky joints and amnesia. Fat lot of good they'd be if a burglar attacked the building. They're the kind who jump like jackrabbits even if the gate creaks. Is it jackrabbits I mean? Anyways, you could scare them shitless by creeping up behind them in broad daylight and whispering 'Boo!' in their hairy ears. You notice I haven't called them guards... Given the fact that they a) sit around all day watching the world go by, and b) would be useless in a real crisis, I think 'watch'men is far more appropriate. But maybe I'm being just a little too harsh. Our houses haven't been broken into yet, nor has anything been set on fire by outside agents. And only one guy has been kidnapped so far. (Not really... the police were called in but it was later discovered that he was lying somewhere drunk!) So maybe these watchmen are OK...

The following letter was sent to my mom (who's the Secretary of our Flat Owners Association) by the proprietor of the 'detective agency' that supplies the watchmen. (Note the impressive string of degrees after his name.) The entire family cracked up on reading this. The choice of words and the structure is priceless!

Check it out here. (Expand the image to regular size to read it.)

[Some details have been blacked out to prevent lawsuits/ embarassment/ withdrawal of service/ other undesirable occurences]

:D

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

lol!!!!!
wonder wat MRSH(london) is..

freebutcomesataprice

Random Access said...

Juz too good da! Had a hearty laugh at 1.30am..Now i dont think I can sleep! Maybe MRSH is Master of Renumeration and Sympathetic Humanity ;)

Random Access
The search has just begun !!!

Abdul Aziz said...

these guys went all out for a 400 rupee hike..

words i learnt today:

1) bonhomie
2) pang (and where not to use it)
3)congealed
4) reticent
5) buttress

reminds me of "baby kangaroo" tribiani.. :-D and the thesarus...

hope u give them the raise..

AC said...

Yeah, reminds me of that FRIENDS episode too!

A little deft Googling (something I've always been good at) reveals that MRSH is some sort of medical qualification, possibly "Maison de la Recherche en Sciences Humaines". Though why the head of a detective agency needs to have it is beyond my understanding!

And yes, I think we did give him the raise. After all, we're the "benefactor of our poor and depressed pang security guard seeking your buttress support"!

shrik said...

Congealed for two years?

Yuck!

AC said...

Yeah, shrik... i echo ur sentiments. But it shows us that the guards we get are really tough!

Sharad said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA ! Cost of living fluctuations ! Bloody hilarious.

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha !!!!! ha ha ha!!!! and more ha ha's

AC said...

Sadly, it appears we have not received any letter from them after this one. Not even a thank you note. Buggers.

dorna! said...

Dear sweet Jesus! You simply must concoct a reason to correspond with them. Sheer brilliance. :D

Sarath said...

any clues as to how this might have happened?? the letter..hey isnt this organization a detective agency. hire them to figure out how this letter got typed..then you can patent it...comedy producing algo.

sagaro said...

Happy Weblogger's Day