Sunday, September 02, 2007

What part of "It's a Sunday" do you not understand?

I look forward to the weekends as a time for me to wake up late, laze around and in general not be bound by the need to be at work.

Last night, I had a nice dinner and then watched a couple of movies back to back. I went to bed at 4 a.m., content in the knowledge that the foundations of my world would not be shaken if I didn't wake before 2 p.m. Or, at the very earliest, noon.

Fate had other plans for me.

8:00 a.m.:
The doorbell peals loud and long, breaking through the suffused fog of my dreamless sleep. I search for and put on my glasses (why the $%@# are they never where I left them last night?) and stagger to the front door. The unwelcome visitor is a refrigerator delivery guy. Yes, a refrigerator. At freaking 8 a.m. on a Sunday morning. What makes things infinitely worse is that the delivery isn't even meant for me; the guy had the address wrong. I make it clear to him that I most definitely do not want the refrigerator and if he didn't clear off my doorstep in 2 seconds, I'd be glad to show him where he could go put that blasted refrigerator of his. I swear loudly at the world in general, and at lost refrigerator delivery guys in particular, and go back to bed.

8:15 a.m.:
The doorbell again. This time it's the guy who washes the cars. And he's brought a friend! He goes into this long story of how he is going home for the week and his friend will be standing in for him. I hand him the keys and stumble back to bed in a sleepy stupor, stubbing my toe on the doorframe along the way. Another volley of curses before I drift back into sleep.

8:30 a.m.:
Yup, you guessed it. The doorbell. Now it's the newspaper guy come to collect his monthly payment. He doesn't have change for a hundred, so I lean groggily against the doorframe while he wakes up the neighbours to get the change from them. The neighbour offers an obscenely cheerful "Hi!"; I reply with "Grumble mumble freakin’ hell mumble grumble" and find my way back to bed.

8:45 a.m.:
You know the routine. (Suspense isn't one of the strong points of this narrative.) The car-wash guy's friend is back. He hands over the key and goes into this long spiel about how the original car-wash guy isn't really all that great, how he does a poor job, and how he (the speaker) would be way better. He ends with an earnest request that we transfer car-wash duties to him on a permanent basis and not trust his friend, the current car-wash guy. Complicated story? Try listening to it when you're half-awake, blurry-eyed and desperately trying to make sense of broken Hindi with a heavy Bengali accent. For all I know, he could have been talking about the body organ sales market in the area. Heck, for all I know I probably promised him my kidney. I have no idea what I said to him, but he eventually left. Having learnt my lesson, I plop down on the sofa near the door and try to get some sleep.

9:00 a.m.:
The @#%$%@%@$@ doorbell again. This time it's the garbage collection guy, politely enquiring if I have any garbage to be disposed of. I have loads of it, but I neither have the stamina nor the interest to go through the process. I promise to give him cartloads of garbage tomorrow if only he would please please go away. (Looking back, I shouldn't have done that; the poor chap looked a little hurt.)

The morning was ruined. There was no way whatsoever I could go back to sleep after that. I was condemned to live the day in a zombie-like stupor/trance. And that's that.

So much for Sundays.

9 comments:

Amit Gawande said...

hey a nice post and pretty expected outcome after such a damn weekend morning ...
sympathies with you buddy :)

Ajith said...

Fortunately or unfortunately my calling bell is not working and has saved me from waking up early on sundays :)

Lizzy said...

ROTFL! Damn funny. But poor you....next time remember to switch off the doorbell on Sundays :)

AC said...

Hi all, sorry for the delayed response!

@ Amit: Thank you!

@ Ajith: Ah, the small mercies in life... :)

@ Lizzy: That's one hell of a technological challenge for me!

*~ Mayth!!~* said...

Lol! There isn't really much you can do about this is there? My 2 cents worth advice nevertheless would be to stick a note on your door that says 'Don't ring the bell' or something.

I come home from work very late and treasure the morning hours of sleep and this mega-size post-it note on my door saves the day-almost everyday :)

But all this considering that the keera-kari,paper-kaaran etc know how to read. ;)

A G said...

Exthremaly intheresthing blaag.

Nyu Reader.

AC said...

@Mayth: Yup... as another potentially doomed weekend looms, I intend to stick a note on my door to that effect. Hope it'll work :)

@ag: Daank yu. Do draahp buy soon faar moar! :)

Abhi! said...

ROTFL. good to see u blogging again

AC said...

Thanks man :)