(Note: features some literal translation from Tamil)
On a visit home recently...
Aged Relative (AR): Vaada, va. How are you? Are you eating properly?
Me: Yes, don't worry, I'm eating properly
AR: How is work?
Me: Yes, yes. Work is going. How are you? Are you without ailment?
AR: Something, I exist. When are you going to get married?
Me (sighing): We'll see, paati, there's time
AR: What, pa. Simply don't keep saying this. Age has happened, you should get married.
Me: What, paati... where has age happened...
AR: You must. Only if you get married now, two years from now can have a child-small, before you are thirty
Me: Child-small-a! Little too much, no? Let the marriage happen first
AR: Listen to what I'm saying, da. I am alive only to see you get married and settled with a nice girl
Me (seeing the loophole and swooping in to win the argument): Aha! If you are with life only for that... I don't want you to die, so I shouldn't get married!
AR: Ada poda... In comparison to living unhappy, dying happy is so much better!
Me (flummoxed): ... (retire at a loss for words)